8 Very Simple Steps to Free Yourself From Stress

This post is a sequel to my previous posts about stress management.

Never let stress disrupt your performance. Get over with it with these simple 8 steps:

1. Breathe

A long and deep inhale can help your mind and body relax

2. Have an Eating Pattern

Diets with high calories and fat can cause your body weaker and dysfunctional in the long run.

3. Exercise

Coordinated body movement can make you feel calmer, more controllable mood, and easier to handle pressure

4. Get a Good Quality Sleep

A deep sleep of 6-8 hours every night can raise your energy level. Making you ready to face any challenge the following day

5. See Bigger Picture

Don't take your job as daily routine, instead, it is your pathway that leads to overwhelming success.

6. Empower and Delegate

You are neither Superman nor demi-God; learn to trust others to help you do your job. Only by this, then you can aim for a far more strategic role in works.

7. Perfection Can be Very Evil

If you spend most of your time trying to fix a working machine, you will never gain from that machine effectively. In short, you are wasting your valuable time.

8. Celebrate

Small reward to indulge yourself that comes in every accomplishment is a good motivation factor.

5 Ways To Move On With Your Life

Ever experience fatal mistake for once in your lifetime? So tremendous and caused many damages? Felt like there's no cure and nothing we can do to amend it? The fact is, you are not alone. Everybody messed up big time at least once in their life. Think about one of these examples. Perhaps it rings a bell.

1. Drug and/or booze addicts
2. Money laundry
3. Cheating on spouse
4. Public lies
5. Murder
6. Burglary
7. HIV infected from free sex or drug needle
8. Misconduct in workplace, demotion
9. Being laid off out of no reason
10. Hit someone with your vehicle
11. (The case could add up infinitely as different people has different encounter)

Usually, people messed up because of poor character. Because people choose to compromise over than to show their true character. Chances are, people with stronger character, provided they have a positive values, won't mess up so easily. It is always a good investment to work on your character.

So, it's done. Now what? There's nothing we can do to change it, no matter how much time or resource we take to remorse or to amend them. This is something, that even many times have been said, that "we will never be able to change the past". Forget those sci-fi movies with time machine and time traveler in them. Chances are those will be unlikely to happen in centuries ahead.

If we can not change the past, then the wisest thing to do is to 'forget' it. Each time after a huge disaster, there's always an aftermath and mostly this is the painful part. We deal with our losses, with our loved one's losses and it hurt, very bad. The 9/11 tragedy in NYC, the Aceh tsunami, onto the latest Mumbai attack. These left wounds. Wounds to be dealt with.

How can we forget such tragedy? Usually, time heals everything. Human has this very unique traits of slowly letting things go as time goes by. It doesn't, however, cure the wound completely. But it will get better if given some time.

Here are few tips so we can overcome the feeling quicker and get on with our life.

1. Be Positive. To the universe, we are only a particle of a dust. So if you think, you have a BIG problem. Think again. Try to think this way. Pull yourself away from your complicated thoughts and see if this is what you called a big problem. Other people might have had worse ones. So, instead, count yourself lucky. Only by being positive thinking, you can actually see there are lights at the end of tunnel and that this is not the end of the world.
2. Embrace Your Current Condition. I know that you probably still haven't accept your current condition. You don't accept yourself being sacked unfairly, being robbed, being cheated, or diagnosed with deadly disease. But hey, this is a world where everyday people run forward. And they won't stop even if they know your condition. This is the world where the fast outran the slow. The strong take out the weak. So unless you stop regretting what you shouldn't have done or feeling so bad of mis-treated by someone and start to accept that this is your ACTUAL condition, you will never be able to move on. A book by Jim Collins "Good to Great" has revealed on a "Stockdale Paradox" whose held captive as Viet Cong prisoner in Vietnam war and he managed to survive because he (1) accepted that he was indeed a prisoner, living prisoner's life, with no guarantee getting out from there alive, but at the same time he also (2) believed that one day, he will be out from there and reunite with his families.
3. Start Get Your Life Back. When was your last time before the tragedy; hang out with your friends, went out to the bar, catch a movie, go skiing, eating out with your spouse, go bungee jumping ?(if this is what it takes of course). Anything that could get your lifeline going. You need sparks to light up your life. If you think you have been sitting too long, then you probably are correct. So stand up, make a plan on what to do this weekend, do it, and have fun with it.
4. Forgive Them, No Matter How Hard. This is to some people probably the hardest part, especially when you are the victims. However hard though, forgiveness is needed in order to accept your current situation. Forgiving is not and never about losing. If you let things go and forgive those who has betrayed or treated you bad, you will be much more relaxed and you will have no chance of being the person you once hate. This is of course very possible because you have minimized the chance of retaliation to zero.  If you think you can't look them in the eyes and forgive them, then don't force it. Give it sometime. Forgiveness is meant to be sincere. It has to be done and it has to be sincere. That simple.
5. There's Always Reason Behind Everything. Yes there is always a positive reason behind every tragedy. Unfortunately, we can only guess what it will be and will never know until we get it in the future. We can only connect them backward, not forward. Each of us has a noble role in this world, from the day we're born. So this is our responsibility for God, our loved ones, and the society we live in.

Charisma - The Invisible Power That Gives You The Edge

Most people think of charisma as something mystical, almost undefinable. They think it's a quality that comes at birth or not at all. But that's not true.

Charisma plainly stated, is the ability to draw people near you. And like any other traits, it can be developed.

To make yourself the kind of person who attracts others, you need to personify these pointers:

1. Love Life

People enjoy leaders who enjoy life. Think of people you want to spend time with. How would you describe them? Grumpy? Bitter? Depressed? Of course not. They're celebrators, not complainers. They're passionate about life. If you want to attract people, you need to be like the people you enjoy being with.

2. Put a "10" on Every Person's Head

One of the best things you can do for people which also attracts them to you is to expect the best of them. I call it putting a "10" on everyone's head. It helps others think more highly of themselves, and at the same time, it also helps you. If you appreciate others, encourage them, and help them reach their potential, they will love you for it.

3. Give People Hope

French General Napoleon Bonaparte characterized leaders as "dealers in hope." Like all great leaders, he knew that hope is the greatest of all possessions. If you can be the person who bestows that gift on others, they will be attracted to you, and they will be forever grateful.

4. Share Yourself

People love leaders who share themselves and their life journeys. As you lead people, give of yourself. Share wisdom, resources, and even special occasions.

When it comes to charisma, the bottom line is otherminded-ness. Leader who think about others and their concerns before thinking of themselves exhibit charisma.

Now, to improve your charisma, do the following:

1. Change your Focus. Observe your interaction with people during the next few years. As you talk to others, determine how much of your conversation is concentrated on yourself. Determine to tip the balance in favor of focusing on others.

2. Play the first impression game. Try an experiment. The next time you meet someone for the first time, try your best to make good impression. Learn the person's name. Focus on his interests. Be positive. And most important, treat him as a "10". If you can do this for a day, you can do this everyday. And it will increase your charisma overnight.

3. Share yourself. Make it your long term goal to share your resources with others. Think about how you can add value to five people in your life this year. They can be family members, colleagues, employees, or friends. Provide resources to help them grow personally and professionally, and share your personal journey with them.

Source: 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader - John C. Maxwell

Character - A Single Factor that Delivers

How a leader deals with the circumstances of life tells you many things about his character. Crisis doesn't necessarily make character, but it certainly does reveal it. Adversity is a crossroads that makes a person choose one from two paths: CHARACTER or COMPROMISE. Every time he chooses character, he becomes stronger, even if that choice brings negative consequences.

As Nobel prize winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn noted, "The meaning of earthly existing lies, not as we have grown used to thinking, in prospering, but in the development of the soul." The development of character is at the heart of our development not just as leaders, but as human beings.

What must every person know about character?


1. Character Is More Than Talk

Anyone can say that he has integrity, but action is the real indicator of character. Your character determines who you are. Who you are - determines what you see. What you see - determines what you do. That's why you can never separate a leader's character from his actions. If a leader's action and intentions are continually working against each other, then look to his character to find out why.

2. Talent Is a Gift, But Character Is a Choice

We have no control over a lot of things in life. We don't get to choose our parents. We don't select the location or circumstances of our birth and upbringing. We don't get to pick our talents or IQ. But we do choose our character. In fact, we create it everytime we make choices, to cop out or dig out of a hard situation, to bend the truth or stand under the weight of it, to take the easy money or pay the price. As you live your life and make choices today, you are continuing to create your character.

3. Character Brings Lasting Success With People

True leadership always involves other people. As the leadership proverb says, if you think you're leading and no one is following you, then you're only taking a walk. Followers do not trust leaders whose character they know to be flawed, and they will not continue following them.

4. Leaders Cannot Rise Above the Limitations of Their Character

Have you ever seen highly talented people suddenly fall apart when they achieved a certain level of success? The key to that phenomenon is character. Steven Berglas, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of The Success Syndrome, says that people who achieve great heights but lack the bedrock character to sustain them through the stress are headed for disaster. He believes they are destined for one or more of the four A's: arrogance, painfull feelings of aloneness, destructive adventure-seeking, or adultery. Each is a terrible price to pay for weak character.

To improve your character, do the following:

1. Search for the cracks. Spend some time looking at major areas of your life (work, family, marriage, service, etc.), and identify anywhere you might have cut corners, compromised, or let people down. Write down every instance yo can recall from the past two months.
2. Look for patterns. Examine the responses that you just wrote down. Is there a particular area where yo have a weakness, or do you have a type of problem that keeps surfacing? Detectable patterns will help you diagnose character issues.
3. Face the music. The beginning of character repair comes when you face your flaws, apologize, and deal with the consequences of your actions. Create a list of people to whom you need to apologize for your actions, then follow through with sincere apologies.
4. Rebuild. It's one thing to face up to your past actions. It's another thing to build a new future. Now that you've identified any areas of weakness, create a plan that will prevent you from making the same mistakes again.

"Never "for the sake of peace and quiet" deny your own experience or convictions" - Dag Hammarskjold

Source: The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader - John C. Maxwell

The Law Of Sacrifice

Lee Iacocca understood that successful leaders have to maintain an attitude of sacrifice in order to turn around an organization. They have to be willing to do what it takes to go to the next level. Swallowing his pride was a heroic sacrifice for Iacocca, one of that many top corporate executives never would have made. But it was a price he had to pay to save the company.

Many people today want to climb up the corporate ladder because they believe that freedom and power are the prizes waiting at the top. They don’t realise that the true nature of leadership is really sacrifice.

Leaders give up to go up. That’s true of every leader regardless of profession. Talk to any leader, and you will find that he has made repeated sacrifices. Effective leaders sacrifice much that is good in order to dedicate themselves to what is best. That’s the way of Law of Sacrifice works. Sacrifice is a constant in leadership. It is an ongoing process, not a one-time payment.

"When you become a leader, you lose the right to think about yourself" (Gerald Brooks)

source : The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership – John C. Maxwell

The Change Leader

“If we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves And to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions" (Stephen R. Covey)

One cannot manage change. One can only be ahead of it. In a period of upheavel, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm. To be sure, it is painful and risky, and above all it requires a great deal of very hard work. But unless it is seen as the task of the organization to lead change, the organization will not survive.

In a period of rapid structural change, the only ones who survive are the change leaders. A change leader sees change as an opportunity. A change leader looks for change, knows how to find the right changes, and knows how to make them effective both outside of the organization and inside it. To make the future is highly risky. It is less risky, however, then not to try to make it. A goodly proportion of those attempting to will surely not succeed. But predictably, no one else will.

source : The Daily Drucker - Peter F. Drucker

Listen To The Ideas Of Others

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen” (Ernest Hemingway)

If you think you know it all, chances are you will be too busy listening to yourself and how great you are to have time to listen to anyone else. Listen to your people in your team. They are the ones who knows to work with the resources and the products. They are the ones at the cutting edge and they may well have ideas, good ideas. Talk to them. Get their feedback, their ideas, their creativity.

But you obviously have to be careful to make sure that although you are listening to them, that doesn’t mean that you are going to act on every one of their ideas. Listen, assimilate and then decide based on what you’ve heard, your own experience and ideas and what is practical.

You have to listen without always giving the signal that you will necessary use their ideas, so then they won’t be disappointed when you do something completely different. But you can make them think their ideas were incorporated into your overall strategy. If you regularly doing this, ask good questions and listen without prejudice, you’re immediately in a different class to most leaders.


source : The Rules of Management – Richard Templar

Why Most Of The Time We Are WRONG

What do you see from the picture above? Is it rabbit? Or Duck? Or something else perhaps? (please tell me what you think). Now I'm sure someone smart like you could already relate the picture with my post title.

Many of us, husbands, wifes, parents, and leaders, have their own judgment towards situations and other people. The life long lesson about being self confident and decisive, however, must be reviewed once again. Because in fact, most of the time, whatever we do or decide could probably be wrong.

This is a matter of being objective. If we pull ourselves far enough to see things clearly, we will be surprised that human are just selfish and generally always think that he/she's right. We feel so confident that we feel that we don't need to consult on others of what good or bad the outcome would be from the other side.

Many people fail to see this as something important and not surprisingly, especially for leaders, they lost their influence.

Here are ... tips on how to make a good call without stepping on other's feet

1. Listen more, don't talk so much, even if you feel like talking, don't do that, because when you start to talk, people listen, and you will not capture their thoughts this way.
2. After done listening, don't start by making statements immediately, instead, make questions and dig more.
3. You may want to hear from more related people if there're any.
4. Then you can formulate a wise call that accomodate their needs and last but not least, your need also.
5. After you make the call, see it through, because it shows your commitment and you will win other's respect instantly by doing so.

So, being decisive is not a matter of how fast a decision is made. But how a decision is formulated is much more important. A slow, but correct decision is worth many times rather that a quick but wrong one.

Think Strategically

“To think strategically is to think with discipline and make informed decisions about the direction you want to go" - John Wood

Thinking strategically is a learned skill. You develop strategic savvy by asking smart questions, digging for answers and looking past assumptions or “truths” that limit your perspective.

You’ve probably never given much thought to your strategic thinking process. It’s non an easy-to-evaluate skill, like typing or writing memos. But now that you’re a leader, you must demonstrate your ability to think outside the box and attack challenges with intellectual vigor. Get in the habit of asking penetrating questions to your team and giving them the time to research the answers. The more you ask, the more you and they will learn.

Running a SWOT analysis helps you think strategically. Identifying the pros and cons, along with the opportunities and dangers that might arise, enables you to assess how to proceed. Involve your team in this exercise. Welcome their input and brainstorm freely. This gives everyone a change to make each other smarter.

1. The following are some tips to improve your strategic thinking :
   Dig down at leas three layers : look deeper than just the surface of the problem. Keep asking “why” until you find the root cause.
2. Perform triage : focus only on the most compelling, revealing strands of information to avoid getting buried in a dumping ground of data.
3. Weigh all sides – and all consequences : think ahead to identify the repercussions of a strategic decision.

source : The Manager's Handbook – McGraw Hills

Pygmalion Law - The Principles Of Positive Thinking

"Whether you think you can or can not, you are usually right" - Henry Ford

Pygmalion - (Greek mythology) a king who created a statue of a woman and fell in love with it; Aphrodite brought the sculpture to life as Galatea


Pygmalion was a young man who has awesome talent in sculpture. His work was second to none. However, his ability is not the one that called friends and neighbours to worship him.

- If the center atrium in town is full of dirt and people are complaining, he would say "We're blessed, the other atrium is not this dirty"

- When a sculpture buyer drives a hard bargain and Pygmalion's friend whispered around about how cheap that person is, he would say "Perhaps that person have another important needs, so he has to spend wisely"

- When kids stole apples in his yard, he did not swear. Instead, he felt pity "Unfortunate for them for not having enough food and education in their homes"

That's how Pygmalion thinks. He never sees thing from the bad side, instead his mind automatically search for the positive side in everything.

---------------

One day, he is sculpturing a very smooth wooden statue of a woman. The statue has a dimension that is similar to that of real human. When the work is done, it really resembles a human being. It smiles attractively and it has body curves to die for.

His friends commented "No matter how good your statue is...it will always remain a statue. It is not your wife"

Despite those comments, Pygmalion treated the wooden statue as a real human. Countless time that he stared and touched it.

God in Mount Olympus finally noticed and somehow pay great deal of respect upon Pygmalion's efforts and decided to turn the statue into real human. Then, he lived happily ever after with his summoned wife, which legend has her as the most beautiful women in Greece.

His name is still remembered until now to represent the effect of positive thinking. When we think positively, many times the results will also end up positive.

For example.

1. If we are polite to other people, then that person will also be polite toward us.
2. If we treat our children as smart ones, then they will turn into smart kids.
3. If we are sure that our efforts will bring results, there's big chance that results will follow

Those positive effect is called the "Pygmalion Effect"

Our minds has a strange "prophecy fulflling" function, whether positive or negative.

1. When we think our neighbour is not a friend to keep, then they will act as one.
2. If we regard our children dishonest, they will lie to us
3. If we are desperate and think that whatever we do will be in vain, then we are not going to make it

Pygmalion's way is to think, perceive, and to hope only good things from a situation or someone.

The colour of our life is dependant to the colour of the "glasses" we put on. Life will get better if we see it better. Think positive about ourself, others, situations, and God.

Good family relationship, more trustable friends and neighbours, working becomes fun, the world is friendlier, life is more beautiful is some of many results if we implant this Pygmalion factor in our mind.

So, make sure you have a Pygmalion inside.

Have a nice day!

Image by thefreedictionary

Focus On Contribution

The great majority of executives tend to focus downward. They are occupied with efforts rather than with results. They worry over what the organization and their supervisors “owe” them and should do for them. And they are conscious above all of the authority they “should have.” As a result, they tender themselves ineffectual.

The effective executive focuses on contribution. He looks up from his work and outward toward goals. He asks: “ What can I contribute that will significantly affect the performance and the results of the institution I serve?” His stress on responsibility.

The focus on contribution is the key to effectiveness: in a person’s own work – its content, its level, its standard, and its impact, in his relations with others – his superiors, his associates, his subordinates, in his use of the tools of the executive such as meeting or reports.

The focus on contribution turns the executive’s attention away from his own specialty, his own narrow skills, his own department, and toward the performance of the whole. It turns his attention to the outside, the only place where there are results.

source : The Daily Drucker - Peter. F. Drucker

Take The Rap

Sorry, but if the team screws up, it is entirely your fault. A good leader will always take the rap. It is easy to use your team or other external factor as an excuse, but it won’t wash.

You are the LEADER. If it all goes pear-shaped, you have to stand up and take the flack. It is very easy to say, “We didn’t meet our target because they….., but a good leader will say “We didn’t meet our target because I…… Yes, it is tough, really tough to do. It takes all confidence, courage, trust, and maturity.

Nothing generates more loyalty than a leader who’s prepared to stand up and say : “I take the responsibility”. If your boss sees you stand up and say :”We lost this contract and I take responsibility. These are the steps we’re taking to make sure it doesn’t happen again in the future”, they will not see a failure – they will see a future board member.

“It is easy to use your team as an excuse, but it won’t wash”

source : The Rules of Management – Richard Templar

Develop A "CAN DO" Attitude

Many of us share the feelings that we may not be up to the task. It’s that fear of failure and the fear of looking like we don’t know what we’re doing that stops us. We get trapped in our lack of self-confidence. Some of us also have a fear of looking foolish, so we don’t event try.

Clearly, we’ve found another trap here. We only see and communicate why we can’t do something or why something won’t work. So, we end up not even trying.

Successful leader are willing to try. They don’t let their self-doubts stops them. They are positive and upbeat about their abilities. They have an aura of willingness. They assume that they can do things, even if they haven’t done this exact thing before. They focus on their past success and have learned from their failures. They have that can-do attitude. They believe that they have been prepared to do the task. They realize that other people have confidence in them also.

While they may temporarily hesitate, they are willing to “fake it until they make it.” “They embrace the project or goal and say to themselves, “I don’t know exactly how, but I know I can do it – somehow. They focus on the “somehow” part. They are willing to try many ways, knowing that they will eventually find a way to succeed.

Clear your mind of CAN”T, fill it with CAN

source : Reflections for the Workplace – Bruce Hyland & Merle Yost

Bring Enthusiasm To The Job

Without enthusiasm, work is just work – tedious, boring and grindingly slow. Somehow, we fall into the trap of thinking that since we don’t really like our jobs or don’t like being there, we need to demonstrate that to the people around us. So, we create our own hell.

Enthusiasm infuses energy into every task and into our jobs as a whole. We get the work done faster and it seems easier. Plus, enthusiasm creates its own momentum. Acting enthusiastic is the first step to really feeling enthusiastic. In addition, when we are enthusiastic, other people around us often catch the same attitude. They become more enthusiastic, and their makes it more fun for us.

The key to find a way to look at the task or job that allows us to focus on an aspect that we are interested in. Even if it’s task that isn’t much fun, maybe we can become enthusiastic about getting it finished. Enthusiasm creates some pride. We feel better and enjoy our work more.

source : Reflections for the Workplace – Bruce Hyland & Merle Yost

Building Trust From The Top Down

Say what you mean, and do what you say! Trust fritters and dies two ways. First, when people aren’t candid with one another. They sugarcoat tough messages. They use jargon and baloney to purposely make matters obscure and, therefore, themselves less accountable.

The only way to get candor into an organization is for the bosses to identify it as a top value, consistently demonstrate it themselves, and reward those who follow their lead. The second trust killer is when people say one thing and do another.

Again, bosses are the main culprits. They tell people to take risks but excoriate them when they fail. They endorse stretch budgets and invite their people to dream big, but punish them if the numbers fall short, even at the end of a decent year. They proclaim a commitment to customer service, but let the factory ship less-than-perfect product to make the month’s sales quota. Or perhaps worst of all, they espouse the company’s values at the top of their lungs, but keep and reward people who don’t live those values simply because they make the numbers.

All that tells the organization is, nothing I say means anything. Or put another way; don’t trust me. Trust, ultimately, isn’t very complicated. It’s earned through words and actions – and integrity in both.

source : Winning – The Answers : Jack & Suzie Welch

Walk The Talk

“Walk the Talk” is a basic leadership concept. When leaders are trying to lead in their organizations, they become beacons of attention. Their personal behavior becomes a model for others.

When managers engage in new behaviors that are driven by changes, their entire team is watching. What are they watching for? They are observing not only if you are doing what you say has to be done but also what your attitude is about doing it. They are asking with their eyes: ”You are asking us to change. Are you changing, too?”

Leaders are the engine of change within the organizations. If the leaders walk the talk, keeps behavior consistent with the messages, keep commitments and promises, and demonstrates some energy and enthusiasm about what is happening, then team members will feel they can take the next step of commitment.

So, please remember to : watch your behavior; show some enthusiasm & energy; be the first, take on the most. “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing”

source : Managing in Times of Change – McGraw Hills

8 Most Important Thing To Have in Life

What is your orientation? Money? Family? Career? Social? It's definitely our choice to decide. However, there are 8 things that's most valuable that we need to have/achieve.



1. Health
This is the single and most important thing that a human could possibly have. The problem is, we often forget, especially when we're OK and healthy. We forget to eat well, rest well, and exercise. As of now, I'm currently writing with a dislocated knee (yes, my upper thigh and lower calf misaligned)...I got it from an indoor soccer game yesterday and boy it hurts! I can't even walk, let alone stand. I really miss my well being. To cut things short, I think health is a factor

2. Love

Continued from point 1 about health. It is amazing somehow that I'm so lucky to be blessed in this life. Theoritically, I wouldn't even think of how will I survive with my current condition. My wife really is an angel. She helped me all the way and I know it is VERY hard for her since this never happened before. I'm feeling very grateful and i think this is what love is. To have someone that cares so big and to care to that person just as much.

At this moment, I don't even dare to imagine how can I survive a second without her. No love, no life. If you find yourself having no one to love, then you are in deep trouble.

3. Education/Skills

Education has already evolved from the beginning of human history. It is now considered as primary needs just as important as food and shelter. It doesn't have to be a formal education with a degree all the time. Computer courses, culinary skills, auto repair, to the most sophisticated quantum physics engineer. In this life, you must have something that you are doing very good.

Education/skills has a linear correlation (although not perfectly) towards value creation. Everybody's success is the fruit of the value they created.

4. Character

Characted is something that fuels our way of speaking and behaving. This is something that we believe and hold on to. This is, in another word, values. Something good we believe in, that won't fade under any circumstances. Skills without character will be irresponsible, while character without skill is ineffective.

5. Network
It is not just in the world wide web that network means anything. In real life, we are all connected. And to connect with other, a set of skills are needed. If you are an extrovert, then you are lucky because you don't close yourself from the world. Network, however intangible, yet very valuable in life.

One just won't make it without other people. So focus on creating enough quality network. It pays off!

6. Self Purpose

I have already written about this and still is very important for me to elaborate once more that self purpose is something we all must have. Otherwise, we are wasting our life.

7. Money
Yeah, money can't buy everything, but everything needs money :)
I'm going to be very realistic about this. Money is very important, otherwise people won't need to look for it every single day. At the age of 40-50 years old, we must already have a substantial amount of money for us to maintain our bills. So save early, don't waste what you have from your labor too easy. Be frugal!

8. Sense of Humour
Gotta tell you that if you are going to cultivate networking (point 5) in your life, then you must have the ability to keep people getting back to you. One of the most powerful magnetic field is sense of humour.

Play a good humour without offending others and you will in no time find yourself having more friends than ever. Make fun of yourself rather than make fun of others, people find it attractive if we are open about ourselves.

There Is No Secret Ingredient

"Whether you think you can or can not; you are usually right" - Henry Ford

The title I chose was from "Kung Fu Panda" movie. Here's short review about it:

Po is a panda who works in a noodle restaurant owned by his goose father Mr. Ping, who hopes that Po will one day take over the restaurant, and wishes to disclose to him the secret ingredient of his family's famous noodle soup. Po is a kung fu fanatic with secret dreams of becoming a great master in the discipline. However, his weight, clumsiness, and incredibly large tummy make his goal difficult to attain.

The tortoise Master Oogway has a premonition that the evil snow leopard warrior Tai Lung, the former student of his own protégé, the red panda Master Shifu, will escape from prison and return to threaten the Valley of Peace. While Shifu sends Zeng, a messenger goose, to Chor Ghom Prison to have the security increased, Oogway orders a formal ceremony to choose the Dragon Warrior, a supreme master of kung fu who can defeat Tai Lung. It is assumed that one of the Furious Five — Tigress, Monkey, Mantis, Viper, and Crane — a quintet of supremely skilled martial artists trained by Shifu, will be chosen for this honor. Po, in his attempts to see the Dragon Warrior, finds himself in the middle of the ceremony. Oogway surprises everyone by designating Po himself as the Dragon Warrior, despite Po's protests and Shifu's pleas to reconsider.

Revolted at having Po under his tutelage, Shifu attempts to make him quit by berating and humiliating him; the Five also dismiss Po as a worthless interloper. Taking sage advice from Oogway himself, Po endures their abuse willingly, eventually endearing himself to them with his determination, good cooking and sense of humor.

In the Valley of Peace, Oogway disappears in a petal swirl, his final wish being that Shifu must train Po. However, Po confesses his belief that he may never be a match for Tai Lung. The following morning, Shifu discovers that Po is capable of impressive physical feats when motivated by food. He leads Po to the countryside for an intensive training regime in which Po is offered food as a reward for learning his lessons. As Shifu hopes, Po swiftly becomes a skilled combatant.

When they return, Shifu decides Po is ready to open the sacred Dragon Scroll, which promises great power to its possessor. However, when Po opens it, he finds nothing but a blank reflective surface. Stricken with despair at the scroll's apparent worthlessness, Shifu orders his students to lead the villagers to safety while he stays to delay Tai Lung for as long as he can.

Po meets up with his father, who tells him the secret ingredient of the family's noodle soup: nothing. He explains that things become special when people believe they are. Realizing that is the point of the Dragon Scroll, Po rushes off to help Shifu. At the end, Po defeats Tai Lung.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The movie while very entertaining and funny, delivers a very strong morale that there is NO SECRET to become success. All we have to do is to BELIEVE in ourselves. When we believe, we unleash our full potential.

So if you believe that you can reach your dream, perhaps you can. This also applies if you believe in someone else. For example, your child, your spouse, or perhaps your co-worker. Faith/believe is a very strong agent for stimulating confidence in them. If you want your group to improve, you just have to start to believe that each will perform their part perfectly.

Of course believe itself is not enough, there are many other "ingredients" like communications, understanding, discipline, etc. But they are NO SECRET and everything start with "BELIEVE". Believe in your self purpose, believe in yourself, believe in your people.

Your comments and critics will be highly appreciated. Have a nice day!

How To Make Change Happen

"People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a senseless of who you are, what you are about and what you value" - Stephen Covey.

This is a sequel to the first post about change management article "Do People Change?". The different thing is, what I'm about to share is the practical concept of allowing positive change to happen within ourselves.

Change is always hard. It is not easy, or else there won't be any theories about change management. But change is very important. I can't stress this enough. Shake your comfort zone, because it sucks you down slowly like a quicksand.

Here's simple equation about input and output:

"What you think, determines your action. What you do determines your habit. Your habit determines your attitude. Your attitude will form your character. And your character is the only thing that determines your reputation"

I really don't think the old statement "Change your habit, then you change your destiny" is entirely correct. It isn't wrong, but not 100% correct. Because the basic in what our habit is our thinking, or in other word, our values. However, I'm open to an argument if there's any

How do you form your values?

1. Parents and/or Mentor's Point of View

Part of what we believe now is actually inherited from our parents. Without you even realize, how they taught us to eat, walk, play, and behave slowly form us into what we were. And generally, parents are role models for their children, so what they do can indirectly influence you as well.

2. Social Environment

If you are born as an eagle, but you grow and live with ducks since the beginning, then you are a duck indeed. Because you are what you think. So choose your friends and partners carefully. Many people make this mistake because they are too late to realize.

3. Needs

I will refer to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which points out that there are 5 level of needs of human. Starting from the lowest needs is the "Physiological" consist of basic human needs like food, water, and shelters. Up until the highest level is the "Self-actualization" that defines morality, creativity, spontaneity, etc. Being in one particular level in for a long period of time will also define our values.

I think we also have to agree that somehow values do not represents anything good or bad. It is a word to describe whatever we stood by. But there is good and bad values as to say there's good and bad thinking. Perform the input-output equation above and I bet you know where you're heading.

As hard as it is to change what our believes are, there's still lights at the end of the tunnel. Here are 3 tips we have to CONSTANTLY remember. I stressed the word CONSTANTLY because this is like "reprogramming" yourself.

1. START FROM OURSELF

If we want to step into a new higher level, stop making excuses, blame others or the situation, instead, look inside and get insights, realize your potential, overcome your doubts and laziness. It is ourselves to blame for whatever bad thing we have now. Unless we accept that, change will never happen.

2. START FROM SOMETHING SMALL

This is also very fundamental in change management. Small things have small impacts, correct? So, why bother about small changes? Why can't just focus on a big bang initiatives?

If you want to change, you have to "love" the process first. In order to love the process, you must not be frustrated by your attempts because it is just to hard to handle. This will do nothing but kill your inner motivation.

Choose from what you can afford to do to change, and then commit to it. After you succeed your first attempt, get used to it, and start to mount more loads in each attempt.

3. START NOW

Yes, now is the perfect time to start. After you make a good plan on what basic thinking and habits that you must change, do it now. We live in the present and present is the only moment that carved our future. The past is history and if you still carry it on your back, you will never be motivated to change the present.

Image by Dappers

Lead Yourself Well - 5 Ways to Improve Self Discipline

"The first and best victory is to conquer self" - Plato

How do you define self-discipline? I was once asked like this.

"Can you wake up early tomorrow and jog 3 miles?"

I said "Yes, of course"

"Can you do that again the day after that?

I said "Sure, why not?"

"Can you do that everyday for the rest of your life?"

I said "............"

Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know where it's heading. If you know you have talent, and you moved a lot but seldom deliver - you may just lack of self discipline.

Take a look back to last week for example. How much of your time did you devote to regular, disciplined activities? Did you do anything to grow and improve yourself professionally? Or dedicate yourself on savings? living healthy life?

If you put them aside and told yourself you will do it later, you need to work out these 5 action plan.

1. Develop and Follow Your Priorities

Anyone who does what he must only when he is in the mood or when it's convenient is NOT going to be successful. All you need is a good plan. If you can determine what's really a priority and free yourself from everything else, it will be much easier to follow through on important things. This is the essence of self discipline.

2. Make a Disciplined Lifestyle Your Goal

Discipline can not be a one time event. It has to be a lifestyle. One of the best ways to do that is to develop systems and routines, especially in areas crucial to your long term growth and success. If you want to be a good basketball player. Practice every hour, every day, all year long and beyond.

3. Challenge Your Excuses

This is an unfortunate habit of human. Giving excuses. However, to develop a lifestyle of discipline, you need to challenge yourself for not making excuses. If you have several reasons why you can't be self disciplined, realize that they are really just a bunch of excuses - all of which need to be challenged if you want to go to the next level of achievement.

4. Remove Rewards Until the Job Is Done

Don't have desserts before finishing your vegetables.

There is one experiment like this:

One hundred kids were gathered to be offered one marshmallow for each. They are elligible of having another marshmallow if they can wait long enough not to eat the first. End up only 5 of them made it for the 2nd marshmallow

If you want to be a successful person, you have to 'torture' yourself for not having short term reward. This is very powerful for cultivating your self-discipline.

5. Stay Focused on Results

Anytime you concentrate on the difficulty of work instead of its results or rewards, you're likely to become discouraged. Never focus on the hard part. Imagine what it's like at the end of the tunnel. This can boost your motivation in making yourself discipline. A good cause.

Have a nice day!

Image by pong_pong