What You Focus Will Expand

The sun's energy warms the world. But when you focus it through magnifying glass it can start a fire. Focus is so powerful! (Alan Pariser)

 

The law of attraction is currently a hot topic within self improvement field. One of the basic of this law is the power of focus. One would have greater chance to get what he want, if he focus on acquiring it. This focus is what becoming their daily thoughts.

Unfortunately, many failures happen because people misuse this great power. Instead of focusing on the goal, they focus on another things which are irrelevant to their primary goal.

Have you been giving more focus on fear than  the exhilaration of benefits that you might get if you take actions to fulfill your dream? It's like two faced coin, and just like everything in the world, it's all about risk and opportunity. It's about being half full or half empty. Aim your focus on whatever opportunity that lies ahead, then you will become more passionate to chase your dream.

A single 100 watt light bulb can immediately lighten a room, however, when the same light being funneled through lens tube with a very small diameter, it can turn the light into laser ray capable of splitting any rock into pieces.

Remember that the greatest force within ourselves, whether our thinking, feeling, or actions, when directed correctly will delivers overwhelming results. Successful people are those who are able to focus on whatever they want, instead those who fail focus on another irrelevant and unimportant things.

Make your decision today and try to focus on things that you want the most in your life, and in no time you will achieve what you want

This post is very related to my previous post about information overload, self purpose, or check the life purpose series.

 

 

Technorati Tags: discipline,skill,tips,life,life purpose,motivation,psychology,goal setting

4 Attitudes That Lead to Success

Have you ever felt that life is plain and quiet? Claude T. Bissell gives practical solution to have the passion back and make everything sparks.

1. Take Risk Beyond Safe Limit

Life will be less challenging because we never let ourselves in challenging situations. Of course, there will be risk also behind every challenge, but the risk is the only thing that can get us moving forward.

Bill Gates, richest man in the world is a very smart person who willing to take risk. When IBM need an operating system for their personal computers, their representative Jack Sams called Gates. Bill was unable to fulfill the demand, thus recommend Gary Kildall, owner of Digital Research to Sams. Kildall did not see the monstrous opportunities that laid before his nose and told his wife to do the negotiation. This has let IBM down and they wanted Gates to find another partner.

That time, Gates knew that this is a huge opportunity. He didn't waste it this ti me, even knowing that he had nothing of what IBM wanted, he scrambled for solution. Later he was able to develop the MS-DOS (Microsoft - Disk Operating System).

2. Be Attentive More Than What Others Do In General

Whatever it is your profession and your job, must involve human interactions. By increasing care and attention to customers and people around us, success and happiness will follow.

Joe Girard, a salesman who understand well the concept of customer comes first, hold  a world record of car sales which listed in Guiness Book of Record after registered 13.001 units of car in 15 years of service. His ability to understand his customers had caused his customers to refer him to their friends and families.

3. Dream Beyond Your Wildest

Big dreams can give us bigger boost of unleashing inner potential. Steven Spielberg is a true dreamer. His box office movies have already generated USD 8 billion. Jaws, E.T., Jurrasic Park were among them.

4. Expect More, Be Passionate

By having positive expectation in this life, you will become passionate and stay positive no matter what lays ahead. Colonel Sanders is a perfect example of someone having such expectation. He was so passionate to convince chicken restaurant owners to buy his mom's recipe - an expectation that led him to finally knock on the 1,009th door for his idea to be accepted.

These four solutions have been proven by them in their way to success. Now it's your turn. Live your life with passion!

Image by thinkpanama

8 Very Simple Steps to Free Yourself From Stress

This post is a sequel to my previous posts about stress management.

Never let stress disrupt your performance. Get over with it with these simple 8 steps:

1. Breathe

A long and deep inhale can help your mind and body relax

2. Have an Eating Pattern

Diets with high calories and fat can cause your body weaker and dysfunctional in the long run.

3. Exercise

Coordinated body movement can make you feel calmer, more controllable mood, and easier to handle pressure

4. Get a Good Quality Sleep

A deep sleep of 6-8 hours every night can raise your energy level. Making you ready to face any challenge the following day

5. See Bigger Picture

Don't take your job as daily routine, instead, it is your pathway that leads to overwhelming success.

6. Empower and Delegate

You are neither Superman nor demi-God; learn to trust others to help you do your job. Only by this, then you can aim for a far more strategic role in works.

7. Perfection Can be Very Evil

If you spend most of your time trying to fix a working machine, you will never gain from that machine effectively. In short, you are wasting your valuable time.

8. Celebrate

Small reward to indulge yourself that comes in every accomplishment is a good motivation factor.

5 Ways To Move On With Your Life

Ever experience fatal mistake for once in your lifetime? So tremendous and caused many damages? Felt like there's no cure and nothing we can do to amend it? The fact is, you are not alone. Everybody messed up big time at least once in their life. Think about one of these examples. Perhaps it rings a bell.

1. Drug and/or booze addicts
2. Money laundry
3. Cheating on spouse
4. Public lies
5. Murder
6. Burglary
7. HIV infected from free sex or drug needle
8. Misconduct in workplace, demotion
9. Being laid off out of no reason
10. Hit someone with your vehicle
11. (The case could add up infinitely as different people has different encounter)

Usually, people messed up because of poor character. Because people choose to compromise over than to show their true character. Chances are, people with stronger character, provided they have a positive values, won't mess up so easily. It is always a good investment to work on your character.

So, it's done. Now what? There's nothing we can do to change it, no matter how much time or resource we take to remorse or to amend them. This is something, that even many times have been said, that "we will never be able to change the past". Forget those sci-fi movies with time machine and time traveler in them. Chances are those will be unlikely to happen in centuries ahead.

If we can not change the past, then the wisest thing to do is to 'forget' it. Each time after a huge disaster, there's always an aftermath and mostly this is the painful part. We deal with our losses, with our loved one's losses and it hurt, very bad. The 9/11 tragedy in NYC, the Aceh tsunami, onto the latest Mumbai attack. These left wounds. Wounds to be dealt with.

How can we forget such tragedy? Usually, time heals everything. Human has this very unique traits of slowly letting things go as time goes by. It doesn't, however, cure the wound completely. But it will get better if given some time.

Here are few tips so we can overcome the feeling quicker and get on with our life.

1. Be Positive. To the universe, we are only a particle of a dust. So if you think, you have a BIG problem. Think again. Try to think this way. Pull yourself away from your complicated thoughts and see if this is what you called a big problem. Other people might have had worse ones. So, instead, count yourself lucky. Only by being positive thinking, you can actually see there are lights at the end of tunnel and that this is not the end of the world.
2. Embrace Your Current Condition. I know that you probably still haven't accept your current condition. You don't accept yourself being sacked unfairly, being robbed, being cheated, or diagnosed with deadly disease. But hey, this is a world where everyday people run forward. And they won't stop even if they know your condition. This is the world where the fast outran the slow. The strong take out the weak. So unless you stop regretting what you shouldn't have done or feeling so bad of mis-treated by someone and start to accept that this is your ACTUAL condition, you will never be able to move on. A book by Jim Collins "Good to Great" has revealed on a "Stockdale Paradox" whose held captive as Viet Cong prisoner in Vietnam war and he managed to survive because he (1) accepted that he was indeed a prisoner, living prisoner's life, with no guarantee getting out from there alive, but at the same time he also (2) believed that one day, he will be out from there and reunite with his families.
3. Start Get Your Life Back. When was your last time before the tragedy; hang out with your friends, went out to the bar, catch a movie, go skiing, eating out with your spouse, go bungee jumping ?(if this is what it takes of course). Anything that could get your lifeline going. You need sparks to light up your life. If you think you have been sitting too long, then you probably are correct. So stand up, make a plan on what to do this weekend, do it, and have fun with it.
4. Forgive Them, No Matter How Hard. This is to some people probably the hardest part, especially when you are the victims. However hard though, forgiveness is needed in order to accept your current situation. Forgiving is not and never about losing. If you let things go and forgive those who has betrayed or treated you bad, you will be much more relaxed and you will have no chance of being the person you once hate. This is of course very possible because you have minimized the chance of retaliation to zero.  If you think you can't look them in the eyes and forgive them, then don't force it. Give it sometime. Forgiveness is meant to be sincere. It has to be done and it has to be sincere. That simple.
5. There's Always Reason Behind Everything. Yes there is always a positive reason behind every tragedy. Unfortunately, we can only guess what it will be and will never know until we get it in the future. We can only connect them backward, not forward. Each of us has a noble role in this world, from the day we're born. So this is our responsibility for God, our loved ones, and the society we live in.

Charisma - The Invisible Power That Gives You The Edge

Most people think of charisma as something mystical, almost undefinable. They think it's a quality that comes at birth or not at all. But that's not true.

Charisma plainly stated, is the ability to draw people near you. And like any other traits, it can be developed.

To make yourself the kind of person who attracts others, you need to personify these pointers:

1. Love Life

People enjoy leaders who enjoy life. Think of people you want to spend time with. How would you describe them? Grumpy? Bitter? Depressed? Of course not. They're celebrators, not complainers. They're passionate about life. If you want to attract people, you need to be like the people you enjoy being with.

2. Put a "10" on Every Person's Head

One of the best things you can do for people which also attracts them to you is to expect the best of them. I call it putting a "10" on everyone's head. It helps others think more highly of themselves, and at the same time, it also helps you. If you appreciate others, encourage them, and help them reach their potential, they will love you for it.

3. Give People Hope

French General Napoleon Bonaparte characterized leaders as "dealers in hope." Like all great leaders, he knew that hope is the greatest of all possessions. If you can be the person who bestows that gift on others, they will be attracted to you, and they will be forever grateful.

4. Share Yourself

People love leaders who share themselves and their life journeys. As you lead people, give of yourself. Share wisdom, resources, and even special occasions.

When it comes to charisma, the bottom line is otherminded-ness. Leader who think about others and their concerns before thinking of themselves exhibit charisma.

Now, to improve your charisma, do the following:

1. Change your Focus. Observe your interaction with people during the next few years. As you talk to others, determine how much of your conversation is concentrated on yourself. Determine to tip the balance in favor of focusing on others.

2. Play the first impression game. Try an experiment. The next time you meet someone for the first time, try your best to make good impression. Learn the person's name. Focus on his interests. Be positive. And most important, treat him as a "10". If you can do this for a day, you can do this everyday. And it will increase your charisma overnight.

3. Share yourself. Make it your long term goal to share your resources with others. Think about how you can add value to five people in your life this year. They can be family members, colleagues, employees, or friends. Provide resources to help them grow personally and professionally, and share your personal journey with them.

Source: 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader - John C. Maxwell

Character - A Single Factor that Delivers

How a leader deals with the circumstances of life tells you many things about his character. Crisis doesn't necessarily make character, but it certainly does reveal it. Adversity is a crossroads that makes a person choose one from two paths: CHARACTER or COMPROMISE. Every time he chooses character, he becomes stronger, even if that choice brings negative consequences.

As Nobel prize winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn noted, "The meaning of earthly existing lies, not as we have grown used to thinking, in prospering, but in the development of the soul." The development of character is at the heart of our development not just as leaders, but as human beings.

What must every person know about character?


1. Character Is More Than Talk

Anyone can say that he has integrity, but action is the real indicator of character. Your character determines who you are. Who you are - determines what you see. What you see - determines what you do. That's why you can never separate a leader's character from his actions. If a leader's action and intentions are continually working against each other, then look to his character to find out why.

2. Talent Is a Gift, But Character Is a Choice

We have no control over a lot of things in life. We don't get to choose our parents. We don't select the location or circumstances of our birth and upbringing. We don't get to pick our talents or IQ. But we do choose our character. In fact, we create it everytime we make choices, to cop out or dig out of a hard situation, to bend the truth or stand under the weight of it, to take the easy money or pay the price. As you live your life and make choices today, you are continuing to create your character.

3. Character Brings Lasting Success With People

True leadership always involves other people. As the leadership proverb says, if you think you're leading and no one is following you, then you're only taking a walk. Followers do not trust leaders whose character they know to be flawed, and they will not continue following them.

4. Leaders Cannot Rise Above the Limitations of Their Character

Have you ever seen highly talented people suddenly fall apart when they achieved a certain level of success? The key to that phenomenon is character. Steven Berglas, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of The Success Syndrome, says that people who achieve great heights but lack the bedrock character to sustain them through the stress are headed for disaster. He believes they are destined for one or more of the four A's: arrogance, painfull feelings of aloneness, destructive adventure-seeking, or adultery. Each is a terrible price to pay for weak character.

To improve your character, do the following:

1. Search for the cracks. Spend some time looking at major areas of your life (work, family, marriage, service, etc.), and identify anywhere you might have cut corners, compromised, or let people down. Write down every instance yo can recall from the past two months.
2. Look for patterns. Examine the responses that you just wrote down. Is there a particular area where yo have a weakness, or do you have a type of problem that keeps surfacing? Detectable patterns will help you diagnose character issues.
3. Face the music. The beginning of character repair comes when you face your flaws, apologize, and deal with the consequences of your actions. Create a list of people to whom you need to apologize for your actions, then follow through with sincere apologies.
4. Rebuild. It's one thing to face up to your past actions. It's another thing to build a new future. Now that you've identified any areas of weakness, create a plan that will prevent you from making the same mistakes again.

"Never "for the sake of peace and quiet" deny your own experience or convictions" - Dag Hammarskjold

Source: The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader - John C. Maxwell

The Change Leader

“If we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves And to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions" (Stephen R. Covey)

One cannot manage change. One can only be ahead of it. In a period of upheavel, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm. To be sure, it is painful and risky, and above all it requires a great deal of very hard work. But unless it is seen as the task of the organization to lead change, the organization will not survive.

In a period of rapid structural change, the only ones who survive are the change leaders. A change leader sees change as an opportunity. A change leader looks for change, knows how to find the right changes, and knows how to make them effective both outside of the organization and inside it. To make the future is highly risky. It is less risky, however, then not to try to make it. A goodly proportion of those attempting to will surely not succeed. But predictably, no one else will.

source : The Daily Drucker - Peter F. Drucker

Why Most Of The Time We Are WRONG

What do you see from the picture above? Is it rabbit? Or Duck? Or something else perhaps? (please tell me what you think). Now I'm sure someone smart like you could already relate the picture with my post title.

Many of us, husbands, wifes, parents, and leaders, have their own judgment towards situations and other people. The life long lesson about being self confident and decisive, however, must be reviewed once again. Because in fact, most of the time, whatever we do or decide could probably be wrong.

This is a matter of being objective. If we pull ourselves far enough to see things clearly, we will be surprised that human are just selfish and generally always think that he/she's right. We feel so confident that we feel that we don't need to consult on others of what good or bad the outcome would be from the other side.

Many people fail to see this as something important and not surprisingly, especially for leaders, they lost their influence.

Here are ... tips on how to make a good call without stepping on other's feet

1. Listen more, don't talk so much, even if you feel like talking, don't do that, because when you start to talk, people listen, and you will not capture their thoughts this way.
2. After done listening, don't start by making statements immediately, instead, make questions and dig more.
3. You may want to hear from more related people if there're any.
4. Then you can formulate a wise call that accomodate their needs and last but not least, your need also.
5. After you make the call, see it through, because it shows your commitment and you will win other's respect instantly by doing so.

So, being decisive is not a matter of how fast a decision is made. But how a decision is formulated is much more important. A slow, but correct decision is worth many times rather that a quick but wrong one.

Pygmalion Law - The Principles Of Positive Thinking

"Whether you think you can or can not, you are usually right" - Henry Ford

Pygmalion - (Greek mythology) a king who created a statue of a woman and fell in love with it; Aphrodite brought the sculpture to life as Galatea


Pygmalion was a young man who has awesome talent in sculpture. His work was second to none. However, his ability is not the one that called friends and neighbours to worship him.

- If the center atrium in town is full of dirt and people are complaining, he would say "We're blessed, the other atrium is not this dirty"

- When a sculpture buyer drives a hard bargain and Pygmalion's friend whispered around about how cheap that person is, he would say "Perhaps that person have another important needs, so he has to spend wisely"

- When kids stole apples in his yard, he did not swear. Instead, he felt pity "Unfortunate for them for not having enough food and education in their homes"

That's how Pygmalion thinks. He never sees thing from the bad side, instead his mind automatically search for the positive side in everything.

---------------

One day, he is sculpturing a very smooth wooden statue of a woman. The statue has a dimension that is similar to that of real human. When the work is done, it really resembles a human being. It smiles attractively and it has body curves to die for.

His friends commented "No matter how good your statue is...it will always remain a statue. It is not your wife"

Despite those comments, Pygmalion treated the wooden statue as a real human. Countless time that he stared and touched it.

God in Mount Olympus finally noticed and somehow pay great deal of respect upon Pygmalion's efforts and decided to turn the statue into real human. Then, he lived happily ever after with his summoned wife, which legend has her as the most beautiful women in Greece.

His name is still remembered until now to represent the effect of positive thinking. When we think positively, many times the results will also end up positive.

For example.

1. If we are polite to other people, then that person will also be polite toward us.
2. If we treat our children as smart ones, then they will turn into smart kids.
3. If we are sure that our efforts will bring results, there's big chance that results will follow

Those positive effect is called the "Pygmalion Effect"

Our minds has a strange "prophecy fulflling" function, whether positive or negative.

1. When we think our neighbour is not a friend to keep, then they will act as one.
2. If we regard our children dishonest, they will lie to us
3. If we are desperate and think that whatever we do will be in vain, then we are not going to make it

Pygmalion's way is to think, perceive, and to hope only good things from a situation or someone.

The colour of our life is dependant to the colour of the "glasses" we put on. Life will get better if we see it better. Think positive about ourself, others, situations, and God.

Good family relationship, more trustable friends and neighbours, working becomes fun, the world is friendlier, life is more beautiful is some of many results if we implant this Pygmalion factor in our mind.

So, make sure you have a Pygmalion inside.

Have a nice day!

Image by thefreedictionary

Focus On Contribution

The great majority of executives tend to focus downward. They are occupied with efforts rather than with results. They worry over what the organization and their supervisors “owe” them and should do for them. And they are conscious above all of the authority they “should have.” As a result, they tender themselves ineffectual.

The effective executive focuses on contribution. He looks up from his work and outward toward goals. He asks: “ What can I contribute that will significantly affect the performance and the results of the institution I serve?” His stress on responsibility.

The focus on contribution is the key to effectiveness: in a person’s own work – its content, its level, its standard, and its impact, in his relations with others – his superiors, his associates, his subordinates, in his use of the tools of the executive such as meeting or reports.

The focus on contribution turns the executive’s attention away from his own specialty, his own narrow skills, his own department, and toward the performance of the whole. It turns his attention to the outside, the only place where there are results.

source : The Daily Drucker - Peter. F. Drucker

Take The Rap

Sorry, but if the team screws up, it is entirely your fault. A good leader will always take the rap. It is easy to use your team or other external factor as an excuse, but it won’t wash.

You are the LEADER. If it all goes pear-shaped, you have to stand up and take the flack. It is very easy to say, “We didn’t meet our target because they….., but a good leader will say “We didn’t meet our target because I…… Yes, it is tough, really tough to do. It takes all confidence, courage, trust, and maturity.

Nothing generates more loyalty than a leader who’s prepared to stand up and say : “I take the responsibility”. If your boss sees you stand up and say :”We lost this contract and I take responsibility. These are the steps we’re taking to make sure it doesn’t happen again in the future”, they will not see a failure – they will see a future board member.

“It is easy to use your team as an excuse, but it won’t wash”

source : The Rules of Management – Richard Templar

Bring Enthusiasm To The Job

Without enthusiasm, work is just work – tedious, boring and grindingly slow. Somehow, we fall into the trap of thinking that since we don’t really like our jobs or don’t like being there, we need to demonstrate that to the people around us. So, we create our own hell.

Enthusiasm infuses energy into every task and into our jobs as a whole. We get the work done faster and it seems easier. Plus, enthusiasm creates its own momentum. Acting enthusiastic is the first step to really feeling enthusiastic. In addition, when we are enthusiastic, other people around us often catch the same attitude. They become more enthusiastic, and their makes it more fun for us.

The key to find a way to look at the task or job that allows us to focus on an aspect that we are interested in. Even if it’s task that isn’t much fun, maybe we can become enthusiastic about getting it finished. Enthusiasm creates some pride. We feel better and enjoy our work more.

source : Reflections for the Workplace – Bruce Hyland & Merle Yost

Walk The Talk

“Walk the Talk” is a basic leadership concept. When leaders are trying to lead in their organizations, they become beacons of attention. Their personal behavior becomes a model for others.

When managers engage in new behaviors that are driven by changes, their entire team is watching. What are they watching for? They are observing not only if you are doing what you say has to be done but also what your attitude is about doing it. They are asking with their eyes: ”You are asking us to change. Are you changing, too?”

Leaders are the engine of change within the organizations. If the leaders walk the talk, keeps behavior consistent with the messages, keep commitments and promises, and demonstrates some energy and enthusiasm about what is happening, then team members will feel they can take the next step of commitment.

So, please remember to : watch your behavior; show some enthusiasm & energy; be the first, take on the most. “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing”

source : Managing in Times of Change – McGraw Hills

There Is No Secret Ingredient

"Whether you think you can or can not; you are usually right" - Henry Ford

The title I chose was from "Kung Fu Panda" movie. Here's short review about it:

Po is a panda who works in a noodle restaurant owned by his goose father Mr. Ping, who hopes that Po will one day take over the restaurant, and wishes to disclose to him the secret ingredient of his family's famous noodle soup. Po is a kung fu fanatic with secret dreams of becoming a great master in the discipline. However, his weight, clumsiness, and incredibly large tummy make his goal difficult to attain.

The tortoise Master Oogway has a premonition that the evil snow leopard warrior Tai Lung, the former student of his own protégé, the red panda Master Shifu, will escape from prison and return to threaten the Valley of Peace. While Shifu sends Zeng, a messenger goose, to Chor Ghom Prison to have the security increased, Oogway orders a formal ceremony to choose the Dragon Warrior, a supreme master of kung fu who can defeat Tai Lung. It is assumed that one of the Furious Five — Tigress, Monkey, Mantis, Viper, and Crane — a quintet of supremely skilled martial artists trained by Shifu, will be chosen for this honor. Po, in his attempts to see the Dragon Warrior, finds himself in the middle of the ceremony. Oogway surprises everyone by designating Po himself as the Dragon Warrior, despite Po's protests and Shifu's pleas to reconsider.

Revolted at having Po under his tutelage, Shifu attempts to make him quit by berating and humiliating him; the Five also dismiss Po as a worthless interloper. Taking sage advice from Oogway himself, Po endures their abuse willingly, eventually endearing himself to them with his determination, good cooking and sense of humor.

In the Valley of Peace, Oogway disappears in a petal swirl, his final wish being that Shifu must train Po. However, Po confesses his belief that he may never be a match for Tai Lung. The following morning, Shifu discovers that Po is capable of impressive physical feats when motivated by food. He leads Po to the countryside for an intensive training regime in which Po is offered food as a reward for learning his lessons. As Shifu hopes, Po swiftly becomes a skilled combatant.

When they return, Shifu decides Po is ready to open the sacred Dragon Scroll, which promises great power to its possessor. However, when Po opens it, he finds nothing but a blank reflective surface. Stricken with despair at the scroll's apparent worthlessness, Shifu orders his students to lead the villagers to safety while he stays to delay Tai Lung for as long as he can.

Po meets up with his father, who tells him the secret ingredient of the family's noodle soup: nothing. He explains that things become special when people believe they are. Realizing that is the point of the Dragon Scroll, Po rushes off to help Shifu. At the end, Po defeats Tai Lung.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The movie while very entertaining and funny, delivers a very strong morale that there is NO SECRET to become success. All we have to do is to BELIEVE in ourselves. When we believe, we unleash our full potential.

So if you believe that you can reach your dream, perhaps you can. This also applies if you believe in someone else. For example, your child, your spouse, or perhaps your co-worker. Faith/believe is a very strong agent for stimulating confidence in them. If you want your group to improve, you just have to start to believe that each will perform their part perfectly.

Of course believe itself is not enough, there are many other "ingredients" like communications, understanding, discipline, etc. But they are NO SECRET and everything start with "BELIEVE". Believe in your self purpose, believe in yourself, believe in your people.

Your comments and critics will be highly appreciated. Have a nice day!

How To Make Change Happen

"People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a senseless of who you are, what you are about and what you value" - Stephen Covey.

This is a sequel to the first post about change management article "Do People Change?". The different thing is, what I'm about to share is the practical concept of allowing positive change to happen within ourselves.

Change is always hard. It is not easy, or else there won't be any theories about change management. But change is very important. I can't stress this enough. Shake your comfort zone, because it sucks you down slowly like a quicksand.

Here's simple equation about input and output:

"What you think, determines your action. What you do determines your habit. Your habit determines your attitude. Your attitude will form your character. And your character is the only thing that determines your reputation"

I really don't think the old statement "Change your habit, then you change your destiny" is entirely correct. It isn't wrong, but not 100% correct. Because the basic in what our habit is our thinking, or in other word, our values. However, I'm open to an argument if there's any

How do you form your values?

1. Parents and/or Mentor's Point of View

Part of what we believe now is actually inherited from our parents. Without you even realize, how they taught us to eat, walk, play, and behave slowly form us into what we were. And generally, parents are role models for their children, so what they do can indirectly influence you as well.

2. Social Environment

If you are born as an eagle, but you grow and live with ducks since the beginning, then you are a duck indeed. Because you are what you think. So choose your friends and partners carefully. Many people make this mistake because they are too late to realize.

3. Needs

I will refer to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which points out that there are 5 level of needs of human. Starting from the lowest needs is the "Physiological" consist of basic human needs like food, water, and shelters. Up until the highest level is the "Self-actualization" that defines morality, creativity, spontaneity, etc. Being in one particular level in for a long period of time will also define our values.

I think we also have to agree that somehow values do not represents anything good or bad. It is a word to describe whatever we stood by. But there is good and bad values as to say there's good and bad thinking. Perform the input-output equation above and I bet you know where you're heading.

As hard as it is to change what our believes are, there's still lights at the end of the tunnel. Here are 3 tips we have to CONSTANTLY remember. I stressed the word CONSTANTLY because this is like "reprogramming" yourself.

1. START FROM OURSELF

If we want to step into a new higher level, stop making excuses, blame others or the situation, instead, look inside and get insights, realize your potential, overcome your doubts and laziness. It is ourselves to blame for whatever bad thing we have now. Unless we accept that, change will never happen.

2. START FROM SOMETHING SMALL

This is also very fundamental in change management. Small things have small impacts, correct? So, why bother about small changes? Why can't just focus on a big bang initiatives?

If you want to change, you have to "love" the process first. In order to love the process, you must not be frustrated by your attempts because it is just to hard to handle. This will do nothing but kill your inner motivation.

Choose from what you can afford to do to change, and then commit to it. After you succeed your first attempt, get used to it, and start to mount more loads in each attempt.

3. START NOW

Yes, now is the perfect time to start. After you make a good plan on what basic thinking and habits that you must change, do it now. We live in the present and present is the only moment that carved our future. The past is history and if you still carry it on your back, you will never be motivated to change the present.

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Lead Yourself Well - 5 Ways to Improve Self Discipline

"The first and best victory is to conquer self" - Plato

How do you define self-discipline? I was once asked like this.

"Can you wake up early tomorrow and jog 3 miles?"

I said "Yes, of course"

"Can you do that again the day after that?

I said "Sure, why not?"

"Can you do that everyday for the rest of your life?"

I said "............"

Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know where it's heading. If you know you have talent, and you moved a lot but seldom deliver - you may just lack of self discipline.

Take a look back to last week for example. How much of your time did you devote to regular, disciplined activities? Did you do anything to grow and improve yourself professionally? Or dedicate yourself on savings? living healthy life?

If you put them aside and told yourself you will do it later, you need to work out these 5 action plan.

1. Develop and Follow Your Priorities

Anyone who does what he must only when he is in the mood or when it's convenient is NOT going to be successful. All you need is a good plan. If you can determine what's really a priority and free yourself from everything else, it will be much easier to follow through on important things. This is the essence of self discipline.

2. Make a Disciplined Lifestyle Your Goal

Discipline can not be a one time event. It has to be a lifestyle. One of the best ways to do that is to develop systems and routines, especially in areas crucial to your long term growth and success. If you want to be a good basketball player. Practice every hour, every day, all year long and beyond.

3. Challenge Your Excuses

This is an unfortunate habit of human. Giving excuses. However, to develop a lifestyle of discipline, you need to challenge yourself for not making excuses. If you have several reasons why you can't be self disciplined, realize that they are really just a bunch of excuses - all of which need to be challenged if you want to go to the next level of achievement.

4. Remove Rewards Until the Job Is Done

Don't have desserts before finishing your vegetables.

There is one experiment like this:

One hundred kids were gathered to be offered one marshmallow for each. They are elligible of having another marshmallow if they can wait long enough not to eat the first. End up only 5 of them made it for the 2nd marshmallow

If you want to be a successful person, you have to 'torture' yourself for not having short term reward. This is very powerful for cultivating your self-discipline.

5. Stay Focused on Results

Anytime you concentrate on the difficulty of work instead of its results or rewards, you're likely to become discouraged. Never focus on the hard part. Imagine what it's like at the end of the tunnel. This can boost your motivation in making yourself discipline. A good cause.

Have a nice day!

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Do People Change?

I've read an article written by a famous business person stating that "people never change". Here's how I look at the statement.

I will tell you how my life is. As far as I can remember I had a pretty good life. My childhood years were exciting. As a teenager, I grew in a very supportive environment. My passing grades were excellent. I'm married now to a lovely wife and have two cute children.

I've always been competitive in everything and hate to lose. This has been me since I was a kid. I believe that the competition was what kept me going chasing all those grades back then in school.

Then I went to college and when I was graduated, I was hired by a big company and being positioned as a junior manager in a production plant. Without me realizing, that character of "craving for victory" was still there and reflected in my daily activities.

Now at this point, I need to tell you, even I assume you already knew, that it was different in school from at workplace. When you study, you study yourself; of course there were group assignments, but it was pretty much solo. You work hard all by YOURSELF", then you get the grades. It's that simple.

But it's different in workplace. In order to 'win', we have to work with the other and you know what? I had huge problem doing that because I used to be star and I just couldn't stand working as a team. I felt the urge to stand out from the other.

The rest, I think you can guess, that eventually I won more enemies to friends - much more, and it was consuming me. I was 22 years old by the way. It's hard living your day, knowing that people despised you. Then I realized that something is wrong, but I was perhaps too foolish or too young...or both...to realize that at instant. The climax was when some group of workers plot against me by ceasing the production deliberately. It happened for almost a week and had caused the company a fortune. They plotted against me because I was cutting back their overtime. I didn't think they need OT, because the demand were slowing down. And nobody at that time in that company has ever done that before. I was lucky number one :-)

Luckily, all the bosses were supporting me and they knew that whatever I decided was merely to cut unnecessary cost, the problem was, it was lack of communication, so I've told. I was somehow cheered by the board's reaction, but couldn't lift my head up, knowing damages has been done. Two months after the incident, I resigned.

I didn't automatically start to look for a new job. Why? Because I know that something was wrong. I knew something was wrong because I feel guilty. For causing one week of production loss, for cutting another's income, for leaving the company that needed me so much. Yes, after what I did, they still asked me to stay after I state my resignation. The process of the handover itself took 3 months after I really left the company.

So, back to the main issue, I decided to cool my head off and tried to figure what's wrong with me. It was one year until I decided to get a new job and to continue my study. During that one year, I pondered every single day and came to a conclusion that I need to change. I need to change the way I behave, I promised myself that I will not be a selfish person no more, I realize that I need to be supportive, instead of suppressive. And that winning is not the only important thing in life. There're love, caring, participation, understanding, and empathy that's just much more important than my previous definition of 'Winning'.

Then I changed. I think I've changed..a lot. My life also has changed eventually. I have plenty of friends in my new company and I'm lucky enough to be promoted to a senior management level in my early 30's. By the way, I still love to win. But I'm not leaving anybody behind. If people around me win, because I help them, then I win. That's my new definition. So, YES, people CHANGE, providing there's LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE that trigger inner motivation.

I hope my experience can inspire positive insights for you. Have a nice day!

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Information Overload - Downside of the World Wide Web

Are you a web surfer? Do you spend most of your times, at home, at work, sitting in front of 12 inch monitor doing stuffs?

I'm asking you to take a look back around 20-30 years ago, when the world was a quieter place to live. When people went to bookstore to find about informations, or send a postmail when in need to communicate with others.

Then all of a sudden, you are surrounded with information. Informations that you have no idea whether it's right or wrong and they just keep coming whether you want it or not. Yes, thanks to the world wide web and the internet. The once conventional method of browsing for information; that could took hours to complete, now only a matter of minutes.

However, please be careful that what we do everyday in our life is divided in two.

1. The value added work
2. The non value added work

Vilfredi Pareto, an Italian scientist revealed that most of us spend 80% of our time to complete only 20% of important tasks. That's the reason why many people end up being mediocre; because they couldn't differ the value added and the non value added. This is later known as 'The Pareto Principles'.

I'm not saying that being overwhelmed by information is a bad thing. Hey, I like information as much as you do, especially free information. So, don't get me wrong. Many have said that whoever has the most information win in this time of era. True!

But bear also in mind that if our head is congested with information and ideas; chances are; we got stuck, not knowing what to do, or to be too considerable for everything. Suddenly, the world become so noisy and complicated and it is much easier to complicate things than to do the other way around.

Imagine you need to go from dot A to dot B. How can you reach B from A in efficient manner? Anybody will answer "Just go straight". In fact, it's true. But to theoritize and to practice is two different thing. In my previous article about self purpose, I wrote that we gotta have some sort of direction. Point B is our direction, assuming we're at point A.

Now, information overload can only hinder you and get you confused. You may get to point B, but the time you need will be much more. Or worse, you get lost.

To wrap things up, I will make it very simple for you, my valuable readers;

1. Have a clear self purpose
2. Get information only you STRICTLY NEED, no more, no less.
3. Get going!

That's it for now. Hope you can reach dot B in no time soon. Have a nice day!

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Live It Day by Day - 10 Useful Tips for Stress Management

This happened several days ago when we've just got back from our holiday and things were just started to be hectic once again.

We had a terrible situation of which the whole company operation could probably ceased because of the material shortage. This wasn't because of poor planning, but it's problem at the custom that caused it to happen.

I was at the center of the problem at that time and was actually, in a lot of stress - without knowing it. I couldn't sleep and eat well thinking of the problem. I felt fine really, but somehow my boss saw me different.

Then he said to me "Live things day by day. We don't know what will happen tomorrow, and it is tough and also consuming to guess what will come the next day. Today we have today's issue; we deal with it, then that's it. Tomorrow? Come what may."

Short sentences, but I felt relaxed after hearing those. To put it simple, problem occurs. Everyday, every hour, every minute, and there's nothing we can do about it. They just come to you. Some can be identified, but many others can't.

If we realize this, that problems are in fact integral part of our lives, then don't bother worrying about them. Lift a glass of water with your arm straight up. Hold it for a minute, you won't feel a thing, hold it another hour, you will encounter spasm, hold it for a day, you will need an ambulance. It is the same glass full of water and it weighs THE SAME, but if we lift it longer that we should, it will harm us in return.

Here're 10 useful tips you can consider doing. You can combine this or do it one at the time:

1. Get out and get a fresh air, take a deep breath.


2. Think of something cheerful, the day you got married, your birthday, your promotion day, the old days when you picking up on girls/boys


3. Do three minutes of stretching.


4. Laugh and make fun of yourself.


5. Smile even if you don't feel like.


6. Whenever possible, donate, it feels much better if you give to others.


7. Spend more time doing your hobbies.


8. Share your load with loved ones.


9. Consume chocolate - researches revealed that somehow chocolate reduce stress


10. Go to somewhere else new, do something different, don't be lazy!

I hope your life improve. Have a nice day!

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Self Purposeness

One of the most frequent question we had when we're young was "what do you want to be when you grow up?" And perhaps many of us 'at that particular moment' didn't care at all about that. "We still got plenty of time, why bother?" this line of statement must had been there also.

I went to business school about 4 years ago and there was one subject that really caught my attention. It was called "people skill". Basically, it's all about intra and inter-personal skill. It's about developing your social traits and self control.

One night, my lecturer asked the audiences that question and we're supposed to answer. Many of us couldn't answer, included me. Or to make it softer, even if we did, we weren't sure about our answers. It is NOT easy to find a TRUE self purpose. As hard as it is, I will share 2 methods that I find useful in finding one's self purpose.

I believe many of us have heard about that notorious Steve Jobs graduation night speech in Stanford College. I remember, there he said that he was once diagnosed of having cancer and that he was only allowed to live for several months - at most. He was devastated, confused, but somehow, at the same time he found out that he had to spend the most of his time building his dream.

1. Last Day

So, this is one technique. Ask yourself "If today is the last day of my life, what will I do? What is it that I need to do most instead of others?" Because when you're about to die, nothing else matters. Pride is no longer a factor. Doubt is also not a factor.

Have you ever tell your loved ones that you love them? If you do, have you told them enough?

Have you do led a good life all this time?

Have you make peace to God?

Have you been valuable to your family? society? Have you give enough?

Go to somewhere private and tranquil, then ask yourself those questions over and over again until you find your answer.

2. How you want people to remember you by?

Yes, how do you want to remember you when you've died? Adolf Hitler is famous. And so does Mother Theresa. But people remember them different. One is dictator, biggest war criminal in mankind history, the other is a humble human being, devoted only to give and fight for the good of others.

How do you want people to remember you?

The criminal?

The sleek?

The liar?

The unfaithful?

The indifferent?

The kind?

The great?

It is all up to us. However stubborn we are, however we think we're right. We can't declare our reputation. What we do, how we think and talk, will then be JUDGED by others and their perception on us is our reputation.

One thing about reputation is that it is always over-estimated. It walks two steps in front of us. If you are very good in one subject, people will tend to over estimate you that you are also good at the others. It works the opposite. Lie once, and people will perceive you as all time liar. There is such thing as "LEVERAGE" if you're talking about reputation.

To wrap things up, self purposeness is not all about career only, or finance alone. It consist of a more noble direction. And noble direction is, to be valuable for others, to give.

Have a nice day!